Now that it's gone I've come to realize what played an important role in my past life: solitude. It let me focus and see in the way that made tinctory what it was.
Motherhood has been a time of intense closeness. I'm never alone. If I ever pick up this thread that's hanging loose here something will have to be very different.
I also found that being a mother to a baby is something I'm unable to do part-time for various reasons. So what I thought would be months away will more realistically be a few years.
Anna is nearly a toddler now and it's a joy to watch her grow. The love has settled in its home. I used to relish the changes of seasons. Now she is my season of constant change.