10.9.12

Musings

Untitledblue this year

Now that it's gone I've come to realize what played an important role in my past life: solitude. It let me focus and see in the way that made tinctory what it was.

Motherhood has been a time of intense closeness. I'm never alone. If I ever pick up this thread that's hanging loose here something will have to be very different.

I also found that being a mother to a baby is something I'm unable to do part-time for various reasons. So what I thought would be months away will more realistically be a few years.

Anna is nearly a toddler now and it's a joy to watch her grow. The love has settled in its home. I used to relish the changes of seasons. Now she is my season of constant change.

29 comments:

Helen-S said...

I remember that solitude was the thing I craved when my boys were young. What little time I had to myself was filled with thoughts of what I needed to do for them.

Now I am at the other end of the experience, they are grown, will be leaving the nest all too soon. And I have the solitude I craved once more. And it is... strange.

Enjoy your time with your daughter.

Emma Lamb said...

So lovely to hear you and your wee family are doing well Eva!
Your life has changed in ways that I can't even begin to imagine... it will be impossible for you and your work not to change with that. I guess today your creativity is your daughter and that will be the most unique path for you to tread! Enjoy it, every moment... :)
Emma, x

Hoola Tallulah said...

What a beautifully written post. I have 4 babes, I know not solitude, but my heart is full :)

Margie Oomen said...

such beautiful and moving words
anna is very blessed to be mothered every moment

Lisa said...

a lovely tribute to motherhood...
relish the days...
there is nothing that compares to the love of a child!

pencilfox said...

i love that you have chosen to place your daughter first.
thankfully, i have some *tinctory* to remind me of your shop days and our communications.

almost a toddler?? my, how time does fly past....all too quickly....

xx

red2white said...

Eva, you are trully blessed. Motherhood and putting children first especially don't always come this naturally.

ronnie said...

for me it wasn't just solitude that disappeared upon having kidlets - it was my capacity for anything that required deep, long quiet thought or work.... even if I gained a few moments solitude, my thoughts were never far from what was or may be happening with my babes.... I don't think that will ever change.... motherhood changes everything

Mona said...

Lovely to hear all is good! Having babies makes the world spin faster, being busy makes you miss too much of the wonderful childhood. Relish every minute of it, I know from experience that it's as fleeting as a morning mist.

rtquilter said...

Oh boy! You are SOO fortunate and I am happy to hear that you are putting the past on hold for a while for Anna's sake. You will NEVER regret it! EVER! It flies past soo soon. My baby will be 35 in October. That is a joy though too. As the young folk say, it is ALL good!

Therese said...

Enjoy your joyfullness with Anna, she will share it with you in abundance...life is change and change is life.

Joni said...

wonderful experience youre having; no need to alter it for the blog. babies change so fast that eventually you will have more time to throw around, even if it takes a few years. i miss my kids' baby-ness...it was a relentless treasure.

jude said...

enjoy. i remember. many years. and then how being a lone was quite a shock. beautiful post.

Eva said...

Thank you all for being here!

It's not really a decision because for a number of reasons there isn't an alternative. That's just how it is.

Ronnie - exactly! you put is very well. what I see on your blog gives mne hope, though :)

jen said...

well said! my daughter is nearly 2 and a half and I have given up saying "I'll get back to doing .... soon" It'll happen when it happens, and it'll be the right time. we have to relish these moments before they're gone forever x

Kellie said...

Stumbled across your work looking for a new smocking project...and have proceeded to enjoy reading pasts posts. Amazing work... love it, so inspirational. Bravo!

Hanna H said...

Sounds like something what would most probably happen in some level to all new mums. I guess you can't really prepare for it either...

Happy that you sound happy there :) Bright autumn days from Finland!

Jackie K. said...

Yes, oh yes. Here I"m almost 14 years in to mothering our daughter and it is still so true - all encompassing. I am not an I - I'm a 'we'. Yes I crave solitude - yet even those moments of time that come are filled with thoughts of must do's for us.
It is all good.

debbie eaves said...

When my son was born I had a applique business and I worked hard to find ways to be able to share my time with him and to also sew. He still to this day remembers our time with him sitting on my sewing table talking about everything and helping him read and working puzzles. Man what I would give for those days again. I miss him so much and now my sewing has different meaning. I still sew and love it, but gosh the conversations we had while I did my sewing then.

shiborigirl said...

yes, it's true. but what truer thing you are now enveloped in. there are many days ahead. just enjoy the moment. it passes so quickly!

Anonymous said...

Happy for you and baby Anna! I'm so happy for you! xoxoxo

Jennifer said...

beautifully said! i too find a lack of solitude makes it very hard to carry on in my "making"... i had a blog & a fb page & an etsy shop, as well as a spot at a local art gallery which all just ceased to be things i could/wanted to spend my time on. it was hard renvisioning myself as "only" a mother but it is definately good work if you can get it <3 lars is 4 now and will be going to school next year.. i am looking forward to a little solitude, but i will miss his constant innocent wonder and excitement.

G said...

hello. stumbled across your lovely space here - the pictures are beautiful and I await the day where space grows in your life for your shop... but understand it may never happen.

x

zahrada mojí duše said...

Milá Evi, vehnalas mi slzy do očí, všechno, cos napsala, je tak krásné, že nedokážu reagovat v angličtině! :-). Opatruj se, pusu malé Ančičce, je to tak, všechno je jinak ♥♥♥

Rachel Lucie Johns said...

What a touching and honest and refreshingly honest take on motherhood. Thank you. With my first I was shell shocked, overwhelmed and caught up in the intense ride of love, with my second, after 4 years at home, it was that which realised my creativity. Who knows when or how you will find the need for yours again. But it will come when you are ready for it.

Rachel Lucie Johns said...

What a touching and honest and refreshingly honest take on motherhood. Thank you. With my first I was shell shocked, overwhelmed and caught up in the intense ride of love, with my second, after 4 years at home, it was that which realised my creativity. Who knows when or how you will find the need for yours again. But it will come when you are ready for it.

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